I know no one wants to picture this, but when I am sitting on the toilet I see things in the floor tile design. When I say things – I mean faces, animals, ghostly figures and the like. Sometimes the animals and people seem to move and the lips on the people open and close like they are talking. I hear no sound, but I know they are trying to speak to me.
As an identical twin, I am no stranger to things that go bump in the night. My brother and I have had simultaneous dreams and we have woken up in the morning wearing each other’s day clothes after going to bed the night before wearing our PJs. We have known each other’s thoughts from birth and had our own language at age two.
Mum was so worried that she took us to multiple doctors during our formative years to be studied, poked and prodded by so-called specialists who just knew that we were freaks because of our large heads and unsettling stares. The doctors had to cope with four identical staring eyes instead of just two. We were studying the doctors with thoughts so loud that even they had to look away shaking their rather small heads and I suspect smaller brains. By the time we were six or seven, Mum finally stopped worrying about us and the doctor visits stopped. I think the medical world pleaded that we not visit anymore.
School was a nightmare for both of us. We were treated differently than the other students and our peers would huddle in groups pointing their fingers while mumbling about us. This was OK because we didn’t like most of the other students anyway and we both picked friends that were different and considered troublemakers by the powers that be. We drifted apart with separate friends when we reached puberty, but shame on anyone who dared to pick on one of the twins. The other would know and come to the rescue. Soon our reputation preceded us and we were left alone to live a somewhat normal life.
By the time we reached adulthood, my brother and I started hiding our psychic abilities so we could fit in better with the popular folks, who were “normal.” We spent our whole adult lives trying to be societies’ idea of normal, but no matter how hard we tried it seemed we were just a little out of sync and we never really made it. Today I am glad we are different and we are who and what we are. If you don’t like what you see or hear – don’t look or listen.
At this stage of my life I am trying to reconnect with the psychic part of my brain. The cobwebs are many, but the spark is still there. I am wary because the dangers are real; being psychic is power and power was born to be abused. I have no aspirations to be a famous person – I just want to know that part of me again that was so spectacular in my youth. I have protection from the dark side of this power in the form of my high school friend Nancy Bradley http://www.nancybradley.org/ She is a famous psychic and her powers are astounding, along with the ability to write great best selling books. I know she will read this blog and respond accordingly.
In the meantime I am learning to also reconnect with my twin on a level only twins can understand. I look forward to this reunion because we truly are one person, one mind and one heart.