Cell Phone Madness


bz CELL WRECK 10-23-09I don’t get the names for cell phones. For instance: the Blackberry. Was it named after the delicious berry? Maybe you can eat it after three months because the damn thing will be obsolete by then anyhow?

How about the Cricket? Crickets are a most annoying creature – they chirp all night and attract scorpions. The best thing to do with any cricket is to step on it and move on to a better world.


What about the Android? I really don’t get this one. Androids are supposed to help around the house and make life easy for humans. Have you ever tried to figure out how to use the Android phone? It is anything but helpful and has been designed to cause insanity in humans. I believe they were designed by aliens to facilitate world domination.

Then there is the HTC Desire. OK, does that mean the phone has more than the standard functions? For instance, maybe it has a really powerful vibration mode; just a guess on my part. There is also the Desire HD model. Everyone could use high-definition vibrations that really hit the spot!


The LG Chocolate Touch has a nice ring to it (no pun intended). The rumor is that every time you put the phone up to your mouth to speak, you can taste and smell chocolate. They are guaranteed to pass through the intestinal track without damage!

How about the Motorola Triumph? One explanation for this name is that it is a transformer. Push the red button and the phone transforms into a Triumph motorcycle and away you go. This is the only phone you can text on while driving. Why, you might ask? Because it’s not real, dumb ass!

Distracted Driver

Samsung Flight II also comes to mind. Maybe it’s a transformer too…get the picture? You could fly it to the Paris Air Show and win an award!

The Samsung Galaxy S II Skyrocket HD has some real possibilities! Always think out of the box….


The Samsung Smiley :) is a great way to end this blog. I was running out of stupid stuff to say anyway. Have a great Monday in spite of me.

I’m just saying,



Sunday Funnies

Last night my wife, me and our two dogs cowered in bed afraid of a monsoon thunder storm. I would hate to think what would happen should we have to suffer a storm like the ones in the Midwest. It seems ridiculous that I get pissed when the power goes out of a couple of hours or a lawn chair blows over. Yes, people, we shall rebuild after the porcelain sun blew off the wall and broke into a million pieces. I stood there with my wife as she grieved over her yard sale treasure. I hated that stupid thing – thank you storm.

I’m just saying,
























































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































You might be a redneck....

You might be a redneck….





















































You might be a redneck if....

You might be a redneck if….














We all are painfully aware of the state of the Nation and the world for that matter. I see tweets, blogs, and Facebook statements that indicate most hardworking (if you even have a job) Americans are fed up with the status quo. The young idealists are even taking to the streets, which reminds me of the late sixties and early seventies during the Vietnam War.

I actually see a parallel between then and now. Nixon knew that we were just about bankrupt because of Vietnam, just as Obama knows the same is happening now because of Iraq and Afghanistan. Nixon also knew that the awful unrest in this country during that time meant disaster for re-elections and the survival of the Republican Party, as the current President knows the Democratic Party is in big trouble for the same reasons.

Corruption was the common denominator in both cases. If fact, corruption has plagued every war since records have been kept. Even ancient history teaches us the same lessons. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the futility of war is not just some catchy phrase coined by the left wingers. I could pen catchy phrases all day long and not one will help find peace in the world.

Even though I am a conservative Republican, I am also a naturalist who will fight long and hard to save abandoned and mistreated animals whether they are in my hometown or in the remote jungles of the world. The animal kingdom, while being savage and violent, is based on rules that seem not to apply for the human species. The wild animals that exist on this planet take only what is needed and never in malice of forethought. Nature’s balance is insurance that there will be enough for survival of the fittest, while the human species keeps taking and taking even after we are old, weak and feeble. If there is a case supporting the Ancient Alien Theory, this is it. We don’t fit in very well with the scheme of things on Earth.

While the subject of this blog is somber, it is not without hope. I am not one to point out problems without trying to also come up with solutions for those problems. One fact remains obvious; we have nowhere else to go. We can only hope that our technologies help us save the planet from our overindulgence. We have already started the process of conservation mainly due to a global recession that is teaching us to do more with a lot less. How much is enough to make humans happy? I am finding out that, in reality, less is really more. The challenge of stretching resources can and does make our lives more meaningful. No, I don’t need a new vehicle every five years. My current one is paid off and I enjoy knowing I don’t have to make any more payments. Proper maintenance is far less expensive than payments every month. This holds true with all large ticket items.

Here is a really bright spot; I am in constant touch with not just my community, but the entire planet. The Internet has enabled the people of the world to glean information that is not biased by special interest groups. Until the Internet, we had to depend on televised news reports that were not in real-time, and the reports were certainly part of “spin city.” Most people I know don’t read newspapers or watch televised news programs anymore unless they are reporting something live like the earthquake in Japan.

Of course, we all know about spam and virus dangers while on-line; but on the whole, with the use of good virus protections, we can safely find out about any topic under the sun. This gives us an advantage about what is really happening on our planet. It also brings the human community closer together so we can help solve our planets problems. Technology is not enough; the masses must be willing do their part.

Stamping out corruption in government is also a priority. I am going to repeat myself yet again. November, 2014 is a month everyone should have highlighted on their calendars. It is time to take control of our “Government, by the People and for the People.” We have all been sold down the river by traitors of the Constitution of the United States of America and the Bill of Rights! Forget what party your parents, grandparents and great-grandparents voted for. The time for change is NOW! I absolutely refuse to vote for any candidate with name recognition.

What better way to purge the White House and Congress than to vote for unknown or third-party candidates? One thing is certain; the unknown politicians can do no worse the all the known candidates who are up to their armpits in special interests and corruption. It will take chutzpah to vote for unknown candidates, but we are a country of gutsy, hardworking and daring folks. It’s time to step up and be counted for the sake of our country and the world.

Write on,




Change of Pace!



I can’t write one more blog about guns, no guns – politics, no politics – religion, no religion – love, no love – health, bad health – life or death, etc…ad nauseam! It’s time to turn over a brand new leaf and start writing again on my fourth novel, Invictus.

OK, here we go…. Oh, wait a minute, hold the press – my new book has all of the above in abundance. Aw, for Pete’s sake, I can’t get away from this stuff no matter what I do.

Have a nice day; I’m out of here – gone riding!



Forbidden Knowledge




313403_205247352881309_100001881381362_520887_694259084_nYes, we (the masses) are truly mushrooms raised in the dark with no inkling of how our world governments really work. We are spoon fed partial truths, untruths and what our masters think we want to hear. Those in the media who try to convey the truth are quickly shown the door and become ridiculed, obscure and forgotten.

Orwell’s “1984” is truly here with a vengeance. There is no aspect of our lives that isn’t under some sort of scrutiny by one government branch or another. Our highways are monitored along with our computers, phones, hand-held devices and mail. Are there drones deployed in America? Yes, indeed – I have seen them with my own eyes.

Can we still voice negative comments concerning heads of state? Not really, unless you want an IRS audit or worse. Can we gather in protest on public land? Not really, unless you want your head knocked in. Can we wear clothing that protests government actions? Not really, unless you want to be arrested. Should we behave like good little mushrooms? According to the government – yes, but according to the Constitution of the United States of America, we have a duty and obligation to protest any government or law that is unjust.

It is a sad day in our history when we (American citizens) cannot venture onto public lands along the Mexican border because it is unsafe with drug cartels, human smugglers and even bandits. The Mexican border is not secure because our federal government is more interested in political votes and huge budgets to fight illegal drugs which, by the way, are in no way successful. Other countries have legalized narcotics and done away with the need to fight illegal drugs by controlling the substances against poor quality and regulated them through taxation.

How much longer are we going to support government that subsidizes big oil, which creates the very products that are destroying the planet we live on? Why can’t our government subsidize solar and wind power – just to name a few renewable resources. The technology exists right now, but government and big oil somehow think that they are going to escape the collapse of our environment.

I know it is easy to criticize the things that are wrong in the world, but quite another thing to do something about it. The human population is too busy trying to eke out a living because most of the wealth of the world is controlled by a minute percentage of the population. I may not have the money to butt heads with the very rich, but I have pen and paper which gives me a voice. If we all join in…our voices can be heard on social media.

Please, make your thoughts heard. If you write it – we will read it. This process can and will bring us together. “The pen is mightier than the sword,” and the written word can become powerful enough to vanquish those who would try to take our freedoms away.

I’m just saying,



“Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”


OK, now is the time for everyone I have made fun of because of the cold climates they live in to strike back with a vengeance. The Arizona deserts are in line to break heat records for the next couple of days.

How does 114 degrees plus sound? You can literally fry an egg on the sidewalk at these temperatures. Oh, you think I jest? I bet you could fry a steak on my rather large forehead today because I have a yard cleanup job that must be finished post-haste.

For those of you that are from Michigan…it is possible for you to adjust to our climate. Case in point: My wife Sandy (who is from Michigan) will be helping me do the cleanup project and a trip to the dump. Not to worry, she handles the heat better than I do now; if tough were money – she would be a billionaire.

I would like to start work this morning at 2:00 a.m., but we wouldn’t be able to see the nasty critters that live in all the wood and trash. We don’t want to be gnawed on by creepy crawlers – been there, done that!

I’m just saying,

Mittster and Ms. Mittster,


Boring, Boring, and More Boring


imagesCACUHBKEThere has to be more to Internet life than Facebook – doesn’t there? Don’t get me wrong; there are a ton of well-meaning people on the site who try desperately to bring up our spirits with catchy phrases and inspirational quotes. There are also those who are authors and they are just trying to get people to read their work and this is as it should be.

There are some who only write about their mundane lives which include some not so mundane dogs, cats and other assorted animals. I find it mildly amusing that the animals live more exciting lives than their owners.

Then there are those who post pictures of tortured animals and dead children thinking they are helping some noble cause that in reality only intensifies the brutality because sickoids who do this kind of thing feed off the publicity.

Let us not forget the politicos who think being completely immersed in politics 24/7 is what life is all about. This group gets the medal of dishonor for being complete bores. One would think that post presidential election is a time for the sound of silence. This wonderful state is not to be…thank you so much, buttheads.

Oh, and by the by…I am also included in this list of Internet zombies. It has been said that I would complain if my lottery ticket won the big one. This is true; I have a list of complaints ready in case the miracle was to happen. Number one would be – now all my relatives are going to pop out of the woodwork!

OK, surely there must be a purpose to this blog berating Facebook users. Indeed there is and that purpose is to understand that we must first make fun of ourselves before we can make fun of others. Sometimes I find myself the biggest bore of all and it bothers me because you would think life would have taught me to be more interesting by now. Well, it hasn’t and that pisses me off to no end.

I would appreciate it very much if the rest of you on Facebook would bring boring up to my level. It’s lonely at the top….

I’m just saying,